You can only blame your problems on the world for so long

I just got back from Race for the Cure downtown. It was pretty fun, albeit a little overwhelming. I went with Carl and his scout troop to pass out water. In the heart of it, I would carry a case of 24 water bottles and set it down and open it up, and it'd be gone in about 30 seconds. I still enjoyed it though. I don't think there was a single person who didn't say thank you, which is unexpected, but still nice.



We talked some yesterday. I bought him ice cream like I had planned all week, and we were walking home. We got mad over something stupid, and then he kind of went into an onslaught of problems he's been having with everything. And it was upsetting because he was talking about it as if I didn't understand what he's been going through. We stayed at the park for I don't even know how long, but eventually I got cold and we went home. And then we just stayed in my room in the dark until he had to leave. I feel better, but I'm not really sure if we can say that we actually accomplished anything.

I'm mostly still just a little bit bitter because I told him that I still feel like I'm taking second seat, and I won't be able to see him later today, or tomorrow, and he's going to be gone everyday after finals, so I don't get to hang out with him then, and he'll be gone that weekend, and the next week as well. And he said that he might be going to hang out with his brother up at college for a week or so as well.
I mean, usually he tells me about all of this stuff he's going to be doing, and I freak out up until, and then it actually happens and it's not nearly as bad as I ever think it's going to be, but this time he's actually going away. And what the hell am I supposed to do in that time? The first chance we actually have any freedom this year and he's going to be gone for all of it. The problem is, I'm not sure he realizes how I even feel about it. I know it's not his fault and that he has to do it, but he never acts like it's a big deal that I'm not going to see him for a week or more straight when I'm really going to need him.

I wish I didn't get my hopes up anymore. They just get crushed every time.

I will never believe in anything again

There's about 7 minutes left in class. We're in the computer lab. A really essential website cannot download on this computer. I'm bored. And also I can't type. I hate everything.




Goodbye, I guess.

These little shits need to leave. We bought literally dozens of packets of kool-aid so that there'd be enough to last us until next time we go shopping. We have about 10 left, and it takes 2 to make a gallon (which is the kind of pitcher we have). HOW THE FUCK DO THEY DRINK SO MUCH. Jil's mom said that they look like little shits. She was right.
They ruined the whole drive-in experience. I ended up sleeping in the back of the car because I couldn't even watch the movie because they were so loud and obnoxious.

They were supposed to be moving up north about 2 weeks ago.