Still swimming alone in the lake

These past two days have been full of college lessons. This is serious business now, unlike high school and I can't be messing around.

First, I ate 5 of those cookies we made (the five that Carl left for me) and quickly became so high I couldn't do anything. Scary high. The high everyone talks about when you eat to many pot-whatevers and you can't even handle yourself. And it stayed that way for the entire night, and I couldn't finish my online homework. Which isn't so terrible except that I did that last time too. I got so distracted that I didn't finish it in time. So now that's two assignments in a row that I've missed, so it's good that I like chemistry and I understand what's going on.

Second, I procrastinated on an essay that I only had a few days to write up in the first place, and didn't start writing it until late the day before (today) and so now it remains unfinished. Luckily it's only a draft, and this draft doesn't even need to be turned in (that's two days from now). But I really need to sleep tonight because I have two midterms tomorrow, plus that writing class where I have to present with my group our project and then stress about not finishing that paper. I'm freaking out already and if it wasn't for the fact that I have super As in both Chem and FYW then I would probably have killed myself.

School is very serious when you are paying for it yourself. And speaking of which, I need a job! Hopefully that call center job happens and they overlook my faults on the voice-mail interview since I haven't really had a job before.

Anyway, good night! I'm not helping myself. I have to get up early and technically this means I'm still procrastinating on that essay by writing this blog post, but I can't help myself.

Where you been?

I'm excited to go to the concert tomorrow. I used to be a big fan of Gym Class Heroes, I don't think I know any of the songs by heart anymore though. I haven't listened to one of their albums in years. I wonder if they're still the same band, you know? I don't really know anything about the Dirty Heads either. I know one song, but really only the chorus, and in fact I didn't even know that band that sang it. Anyway, I am looking forward to it because I haven't been to a concert in two years now, I think, and it's the experience of it that I really want. Even if I don't know the bands, I'm just happy to go and dance, and hopefully hear some great music. However, I am kind of bummed because Carl's "dragging" me to this one, but I really wanted to go to a Das Racist concert last Thursday and didn't because I knew he didn't really know or like them. I guess it's different though since he's paying for the tickets, and I wouldn't make him pay for a concert he didn't want to see.

And speaking of paying for everything, he really needs to stop that. I really appreciate going out and doing all of this stuff, but he needs that money too and he's blowing it all on me. And it puts me in a weird place too because I want to reciprocate and can't, and now when I get a job instead of saving for college or food or for rent or whatever, I have to worry about paying him back. Or at least I do worry because I can't tell if he's serious about me being in debt to him or if it really is just an "I love you" thing.


So many things I worry about, and I'm so tired, and I miss Michigan and my family and my friends.
I have a lot of Bio Lab homework to start and finish though, and I have to get up very early tomorrow, so I can't write more.
Good night, whoever, myself.