My head is giving me life or death, but I can't choose.

My sister seems to forget that i know about EVERYTHING that is saved on the computer. Plus, she saved it directly to the desktop.

She was having a conversation with this kid named Rob, who's 20. Now, before you make any assumptions there, I have to tell you that you're only luke warm. The conversation was not about the two of them being together, but him dating that dumb bitch Jackie (who you should recall is REALLY REALLY stupid. Well apparently, they met him on Myspace (which is a great way to start the story out by the way). It's funny because she got in trouble just a month or two ago by my mom because she found out that Julie was adding, talking to, and planning to meet with strange guys she met on Myspace that were much much older than she.
I KNOW.
So, anyways, she meets this kid online, and so they of course lie about everything. They tell him that Jackie is 16. She's really 14. Remember, Rob is 20. There were other things she lied about too, but mostly the age part is important.
Well, as time goes on, apparently things get a little more serious between Dumbbitchface and Rob. Then he finds out that she's only 14. He gets mad, for obvious reasons, and then defriends Jackie and all of her friends that lied to him.
I could explain it more, but I think you should read the actual conversation between my sister and this mysterious Rob.

(in case you couldn't have guessed, Me = Julie)

Me: What even happened in the first place?
Rob: found out jackie had been lying to me
Rob: and you never told me
Me: about what?
Rob: her age, god only knows what else
Me: We went to great lengths to keep age hidden from you, i will admit.. but I can absolutely assure you Jackie isn't the kind of person to lie about anything she says. [aside from age, obviously.]
Rob: ok, still doesnt make it right
Me: We only did because at first, we weren't even sure you were telling the truth about yourself. cuz you know how internet accounts are nowadays..
Rob: true
Me: ..where everyone lies.
Me: And yeah, we understood it wasn't right, but do you really think we're just gunna go handing out our real personal information to people?
Rob: you do know you two could have gotten me into alot of shit, right? like jail time and a permenant lable shit and having to register where ever i move type shit
Me: Honestly, we never actually thought of that.. but would you have dated jackie even if you knew her real age?
Rob: would have waited but yes
Me: She only bumped her age up by two years.. its not THAT much of a difference, honestly.
Rob: Its more understandable if a 20 yr old is going out with a 16 yr old instead of a 14 yr old, and even then, its pushing it.
Me: Understood.
Rob: Even then alot of people would have accused me of being a petophile. if someone 6 yrs older than you shows up at your house, your parents are gonna try to get them arrested, llol
Me: in most cases, yeah, ill agree with you on that..
Me: but i dont think that when you and jackie first met -when she first decided she'd lie to you about her age- that she even knew anything serious would happen between you guys.
Rob: still
Me: still?
Rob: Yeah, still could have gotten me into alot of shit.
Me: COULD HAVE. but didn't. Nothing bad even happened. You just found out and decided to delete everyone without even giving them a chance to explain.
Rob: especially when they are risking my freedom





Now, I will sum it up for you. Rob, being 20 years old and not having the mind of a retarded little kid, is logically upset because he could have gotten into a lot of trouble for some stupid bitch. My sister admits that they were stupid and immature and justifies it because maybe he COULD have gotten into trouble, but he didn't, so everything is OK.

Is it a wonder why I hate the generation below us?
She's going to end up like that guy on Maury the other day:
"I'm allergic to condoms and I never wear 'em. I couldn't a got you pregnant 'cause I never got no one else pregnant before."

I got 100% on my Composition final.

So suck it Mrs. Amsdill.

She said "Call me now baby, and I'd come a runnin'.

I feel like no one really knows me anymore.
So here I am:


I'm way more talented than I like to give myself credit for.
I could be way more successful if I cared enough about putting forth effort.
I justify my shortcomings with anything I can to keep me from losing my self confidence.
I like to make people laugh, but honestly, I'm not trying.
I'm short.
I'm rarely satisfied with how my hair looks.
I love Kings of Leon and Reese's Puffs Cereal and Gatorade.
I would walk around in my underpants and bra if no one minded.
I stay up late because I take naps after school, but I like it better that way.
There isn't a whole lot that truly phases me.
I feel like I never know as much about anything as everyone else does.
When I was younger I used to watch Animal Planet all of the time, and so I'm like the leading expert on dogs. I can 95% of the time tell you what kind of dog, where it originated from, and some of the breed standards.
I like to have pets unusual pets.
I remember a lot more than I used to.
I like technologies. Buying an external hard drive was logical, practical, and kind of titillating.
I don't know a whole lot about technologies.
I also am not dependent on technology. In fact, I Quite nearly loathe people that are.
Right now, I have cabin fever, but I'm okay with that.
If it wasn't for my neat-freak/minimalist alter ego, I would definitely be a hoarder.
I love to make things.
I'm okay with eating the same type of food for a month straight.
I don't know what I'm going to do for college, and I don't rightly care either.
Sometimes I use strange language expressions.
I would rather have a new and captivating book than most other things in the world.
I like to nit-pick, but I also prefer to let everything go eventually.
I feel like there's a curse on my FavFive on my phone, because I know that whenever I change someone into my empty fifth spot, I almost immediately lose contact with them.
I still lie a lot, but I'm getting better. Sort of.
I love all of my friends but it's hard to tell them sometimes.
I make plans that I can't always keep.
I only like kids under the age of 6.
I've always wanted a Bull Mastiff or a Newfoundland.
I used to have a hamster named Bob (that was a girl).
I liked having a dirt road and a ditch and a small yellow house with a brown roof and a Magnolia tree.
My dad's friend Greg bought that house from us and hung himself in the kitchen. He had a puppy named Nike that he "inherited" from his friend/roommate when he left the state to be with his girlfriend, and also left the dog.
I work better under pressure because otherwise I don't have any motivation.
Often times I don't have any motivation even when under pressure.
I prefer The Used's version of that song better than the one by Queen and David Bowie, which, I know, is absurd.
I like to do puzzles, but I haven't done one in probably 3 years.
I'm really good at math and also I'm artistically talented- which is rare, I guess.
I like to buy jewelry on eBay.
I wish everyday was a breezy summer day with nothing to do and nowhere special to go.
I eternally view my sister as 10 years old.
The best way to make me happy is to make/buy me sweets.
I'm really good at those claw stuffed animal machines. Back in 7th grade, at Alyssa Kornylo's birthday party at Woodland Lanes, I spent about $10 (it was a 50 ¢ per play machine) and won 12 stuffed animals. I gave one to each of the seven other guests and two to Alyssa for her birthday. I still have the other 3.
I like to play sports. I loved/hated gymnastics, but overall I just liked being in shape.
I have a birthmark that I wasn't born with. I got it when I was about 12. And no, it's not a mole OR cancer.
I haven't been to the doctor since I was 8, I think.
I like to do gardening.
I get grand ideas to actually do something meaningful, but it never happens. Mostly because I don't have the money to.
Sometimes at night I lie awake and think about what I would do if there was ever a fire in my house. I try to plan out what I would save and how if I had enough time.
I'm apparently good at giving massages.
When I'm nervous or overwhelmed I pick at my face and scratch my scalp until it bleeds sometimes.
I've found that often I simply forget to eat anything for an entire day, and days on end I will only eat a $3 vending machine lunch at school for the same reason.
I don't like people to pay for me, but after years of seeing my father struggle to pay bills because he's too humble to take money from people, often money that he deserves, I'm more comfortable agreeing to let them. However, I still usually double or triple check whether they really want to give it to me.
I don't feel like I deserve anything good that I get.
I usually could care less about where people want to take me.
I wish we could go on more adventures.
I want to spend the summer practically living at other peoples' houses just because it would be more exciting.
I like to cloud watch.
I'm really Quiet when I'm in cars because I like to look at everything going by.
I've never been to the ocean.
I prefer to be barefoot in the summer.
I don't know how to end anything I start.




'Night.

No, i don't clean ALL of the dishes and no i don't clean the floors, but i clean up after myself and goddamn that drunk if she calls me a slob.

My bus never showed up. I waited 20 minutes, and so I decided that I wasn't going to school.




I missed you a lot though! I really did.
It would be nice to see you again today, but I know that won't happen because I saw you yesterday.

extra credit:
http://www.weebls-stuff.com/catface/Cat+Face+5/

Left a note and said "I'm sorry, I, I had a bad day again."

Today started off terrible and just kept going wrong. Just one of those days, you know? But, it got better. It's been one whole week and I'm already sick and tired of school.

I went to the gas station after school and bought some munchies for when I was at Carl's meet. I found some cool new things called puffcorn :)
It's like cheetos, but it's popcorn, but it's not actually popcorn because it's cheetos. It's light and crunchy like popcorn, but made out of cheeto stuff. It's really yummy. And, it's only $2 for a big bag.

So then I went to Carl's meet and sat around and watched people run, and do shot put and do high jump and long jump, and tuned out the obnoxious toad lady with giant pimples all over her face and neck who insisted on yelling to the people who were sitting behind me while she was right next to me but also kind of standing directly in my line of sight of everything, and met a cool old man sort of who loves Arizona too, and learned about a 12 year old who nearly won the 1600, and then videoed Carl standing around and waiting and then FINALLY doing his run-run-run-run-run-jump-wheeeeeeeee! stuff, and then waited a bunch more, and then left.

And I'm so tired, but I feel much better than earlier.
And I'm very thankful to him, because he's able to put up with me when I'm having a bad day

My catapult will be a failure.

ACED IT. SORT OF. I DIDN'T HAVE A TRIGGER BUT WHATEVS.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard from on high
The flapping and slapping of of fish from the sky.
As I drew in my head, and was turning about,
Down the chimney St Nicholas came with a trout.

He was dressed all in scales, from his head to his foot,
And his turtle was covered with ashes and soot.
A bundle of scrod he had flung on his back,
And he looked like Seu George, only not quite as black.

His eyes were drawn on with a ball point in blue,
And his beard was a cotton ball covered in glue.
He stood on a glittering Christmas tree shell
And the whole fucking thing was confusing as hell.

But then I woke up in a shivering sweat
With my hair and my clothes and my sheets soaking wet
And I thought to myself as I cradled my head,
I should never eat clams before going to bed.