But my dog doesn't hev any melk in his pellow case.
There was a presenter in my 6th hour yesterday that talked like that. He said something about not heving pellows. It was entertaining for about 5 seconds. I flattered him by filling out his little design school Questionnaire thing. It was the least I could do, Quite literally.
Anyway, tomorrow I'm going to the movies! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
We really haven't been out anywhere since we have suddenly become so poor and since he's going clean for March, he'll have more extra money to do things like this. Granted not that much extra money, but I'm kind of wondering when, and if, I'm going to get that new iPod. I've been weighing it in my mind and I'm really not sure whether I'd rather have a new iPod or go out with Carl more. They're both pretty high priorities for me, and I could get a new iPod anytime. The only problem is, I'm not sure how long my old one will last and I'm not sure if I'd be able to put up with it any longer. On the other hand, if we don't go out places, things get boring and we miss out on a lot. I don't know. What do you think?
Oh! I never finished my thought about the movies. We're going to see Slumdog probably, but Street Fighter is supposed to be coming out on Friday (although I was looking into the future for times, so it wasn't listed) and if it is there, we'll probably go to that one, or maybe even both. Although I was kind of hoping we could come back home and relax. There's a lot less you can get away with in a movie theater than you can at my house, as odd as that is.
We finally went grocery shopping a few days ago, so there's a lot to eat in my house now. I'm not sure how much it all cost, but we bought a lot more food. Because I was there, it probably cost a little bit less. My dad's not really one to look for sales. I made him buy a lot of healthier foods because while Carl's going clean for March, I've decided to eat healthier. I also made him buy conditioner because we have never had any since my mom moved out. For the first time in literally years, my hair is truly clean at my dad's house. It's such a nice feeling to be able to touch my hair at 10 at night and it's not greasy at all and it's silky smooth ^_^
In biggest loser news, Dane is gone, and the black team is gone, but the black team is revived! They have split off into Jillian and Bob and have become only the black and blue teams. So with the loss of Blaine a few weeks ago, and now Dane, the original black team has disappeared, but risen from the dead as well! I have much happiness in me right now. Not that any of you probably care about that show, but it's pretty nifty.
In other FANTASMICORGASMIC news, Michael Cera has agreed to do the Arrested Development movie! This has pretty much made my life worth living. When I heard the news, I called Natalena right there and then.
In news that kind of makes me sad, I got an 84 on my Chem test. In all honestly, I was completely unprepared and didn't know how to do half of it due to a really stupid person that I hate a whole lot who spent most of the hour the day before trying to figure out an insignificant answer to one insignificant Question instead of helping everyone else work on the important things, which we didn't know. Now, I know that an 84 isn't really bad, but on every test we've taken so far, I've gotten at least in the middle-upper 90s and one of the highest grades in the class. So I'm a bit disappointed in myself. I even actually tried to study, but for some reason I didn't have half of the notes for that unit.
Anyway, no stress. It's done. I have the highest grade in my math class (which by the way is about 85% seniors save for myself and about 3 juniors [and also that percentage is pretty much exact because I'm a nerd that way, and it seems kind of low but if you take into consideration there are about 27 people in that class, both perspectives make sense]) which just proves that I'm not stupid at all and that I control my grades. Translation for simple minded people (mom): I WAS FAILING ON PURPOSE.
Hooray! Life is good right now :)
I'm gonna get my brains fucked out tomorrow, hopefully
That just makes everything seem better.
Just like C lunch. As much as it sucks, and it sucks a whole lot, classes move a lot faster as I get closer to it, and once it's over classes move even faster. My days are just flying by now and it's going to be that way until the end of the year! And next week we have school off on Thursday and a half day on Friday and then the week after that we don't have school on Tuesday and half days in the afternoon for the rest of MME testing! BOSS (except next year it will kind of suck a whole lot). And there are only 59 whole days of school left. There are 6 half days but 3 of them are for Final Exams in June, so I'm not sure if you want to count those. The only month I'm not looking forward to is May because the only day we have off is Memorial Day. It's just one big stretch of school, and that's the kind that I hate the most :P
Well, that's what's up with me. In great detail. It's not exactly everything, but it's a good portion.
Feb 26, 2009
The kind of song that ignites the airwaves
You didn't make much of a comeback. Looks like you fell short of expectations. Again. But, like I said, I stopped caring about you (not that I ever, ever did). But I was curious about what you were going to do. You fascinate me- to a point. You are a contradiction of every sacred rule about social standings that I hold so dear. You are walking blasphemy, and I really am curious. Nevertheless, once again I was right about you. You are simple minded, though you do your best to disguise it, and you lose sight of all goals, much like those terrible people you disassociate with. You have dropped off the radar because you were nothing. You always were, and are now. You're just finally aware of it. Aware of how much people don't like you and aware of how people could care less. Maybe you thought you'd prove a point at first, we all know it fits your ego (which is the size of like, Saturn), and just this once, you lived up to expectations. You really did disappear. And I really hope you stay that way.
Now, I don't hate you; But I do. You really are loathsome and careless, dare I say, oblivious, about what you say and do to other people, but you are still, to an extent, a human being. Worthless and pathetic as you are, I care just enough to check in on you from time to time, sort of like your... Big Brother. Or maybe that's a bad example. Regardless, from that information, or lack there of, you make misconceptions about me. And that's what really ticks me off about you. If I'm going to criticize, or even hate you, I'm going to get my facts straight. But don't get me wrong, I really am curious as to how your cockfight will play out. Needless to say, I'm betting against you. If I win, however, I'm not going to be a pompous ass clown such as yourself.
And if you haven't figured out who I'm talking about, it's not important. I just figured I'd mention it before he completely burns out. I'm not in anyway trying to spark interest in him again, rather the opposite, but I don't wish him to be forgotten. Never mind. I lied. I do.
Now, I don't hate you; But I do. You really are loathsome and careless, dare I say, oblivious, about what you say and do to other people, but you are still, to an extent, a human being. Worthless and pathetic as you are, I care just enough to check in on you from time to time, sort of like your... Big Brother. Or maybe that's a bad example. Regardless, from that information, or lack there of, you make misconceptions about me. And that's what really ticks me off about you. If I'm going to criticize, or even hate you, I'm going to get my facts straight. But don't get me wrong, I really am curious as to how your cockfight will play out. Needless to say, I'm betting against you. If I win, however, I'm not going to be a pompous ass clown such as yourself.
And if you haven't figured out who I'm talking about, it's not important. I just figured I'd mention it before he completely burns out. I'm not in anyway trying to spark interest in him again, rather the opposite, but I don't wish him to be forgotten. Never mind. I lied. I do.
Feb 23, 2009
I hope this song starts a craze
Descending the stairs, feeling on top of the world, though I'm physically below everyone around me. The wind whips and stirs and the leaves, or what remains of them, rattle on the trees. I am alone. I am as cold as everything around me. And everything around me I perceive cold. I could care less about the trail-ers. I want them to look at my footprints and see someone who could care less. See someone who is on top of the world, without a soundtrack. Yes, it's a cake pan. Yes it's a rabbit. No, I don't care; I am cold, spiritually that is.
Maybe I should start at the beginning. If your favorite color is black, you are sophisticated or try to be, mysterious, and dignified. You may be unhappy at times, but have no ideas on how to change current situations. You prefer to be alone and you are cold. Paraphrased, mostly. Black, however, is not my favorite color. Nothing is; I am cold, emotionally that is.
Cold hands pull me back from the door. Jack Frost clearly has some boundary issues. Personal or otherwise. But the key still fits, and the door still opens, no thanks to anyone else. I'm still alone, still on top of the world. And I open more doors, and I'm alone. There are humans here but no people. Or maybe it's the other way around? Last week's tabloids on the table scream lies and my eyes scream back with indifference, but I pick it up anyway and carry it off to my lair, like some great scavenger. It's still dark, the world on which I was so precariously perched has dropped from beneath me, and I fear I will never open those blinds again. I haven't really seen the sun in months. Suddenly, it's 0 k and my molecules have stopped fidgeting; I am cold, physically that is. And I'm tired.
This song makes me feel so self-important and insignificant at the same time. I feel angry and depressed and spiteful. As I have for a while, and will, until line by line, this song disappears into my records. And I can read it backward and maybe these demons will finally fuck off.
Maybe I should start at the beginning. If your favorite color is black, you are sophisticated or try to be, mysterious, and dignified. You may be unhappy at times, but have no ideas on how to change current situations. You prefer to be alone and you are cold. Paraphrased, mostly. Black, however, is not my favorite color. Nothing is; I am cold, emotionally that is.
Cold hands pull me back from the door. Jack Frost clearly has some boundary issues. Personal or otherwise. But the key still fits, and the door still opens, no thanks to anyone else. I'm still alone, still on top of the world. And I open more doors, and I'm alone. There are humans here but no people. Or maybe it's the other way around? Last week's tabloids on the table scream lies and my eyes scream back with indifference, but I pick it up anyway and carry it off to my lair, like some great scavenger. It's still dark, the world on which I was so precariously perched has dropped from beneath me, and I fear I will never open those blinds again. I haven't really seen the sun in months. Suddenly, it's 0 k and my molecules have stopped fidgeting; I am cold, physically that is. And I'm tired.
This song makes me feel so self-important and insignificant at the same time. I feel angry and depressed and spiteful. As I have for a while, and will, until line by line, this song disappears into my records. And I can read it backward and maybe these demons will finally fuck off.
Feb 21, 2009
I wish I knew
I was feverish and had a headache for just about half the day at school. I came home, fell asleep and when I woke up the pain was so intense I couldn't move. It took a lot of effort just to call for someone to bring me some excedrine. Well soon after, I had started to sweat it out, just as Carl came over, and he really did help a lot. Needless to say, I was pretty much normal after another hour or two, but still not really up to going to Eddie Edgar, as we had been invited to. So we stayed home all day and relaxed, except for a brief interruption for Wendy's (blech. I got a salad.)
Well, then Carl had to go home, but I wasn't too sad because he was coming back in an hour or so anyway.
He drove. Just took the keys and drove xD. I kind of wonder what became of that; if anyone noticed. Probably not.
Anyway, he came over. Stayed for an hour and 10 minutes, just like I so begged him to do. But the first half hour we spent just trying to get me... ready. Which wasn't working. God, I so wanted to. I tried so hard, I just couldn't do it. I must have been trying too hard. Things went ahead as planned after he greased the wheels, but I felt really bad, and I think that's what contributed to it. I won't tell you it was the best. Far from it. I just really couldn't enjoy myself.
So I felt bad all night. And I felt bad for accusing him earlier and I felt bad about everything, because he tries, he really does. And I'm sorry for doubting him, for everything. And I don't think I've ever felt worse in my life.
Well, then Carl had to go home, but I wasn't too sad because he was coming back in an hour or so anyway.
He drove. Just took the keys and drove xD. I kind of wonder what became of that; if anyone noticed. Probably not.
Anyway, he came over. Stayed for an hour and 10 minutes, just like I so begged him to do. But the first half hour we spent just trying to get me... ready. Which wasn't working. God, I so wanted to. I tried so hard, I just couldn't do it. I must have been trying too hard. Things went ahead as planned after he greased the wheels, but I felt really bad, and I think that's what contributed to it. I won't tell you it was the best. Far from it. I just really couldn't enjoy myself.
So I felt bad all night. And I felt bad for accusing him earlier and I felt bad about everything, because he tries, he really does. And I'm sorry for doubting him, for everything. And I don't think I've ever felt worse in my life.
Feb 18, 2009
Then ask me what it's like to have myself so figured out.
Andrea-
As long as I have friends who can drive, things are okay.
Dan-
And if they don't, you can kick them in the ribs!
Yeah, friends usually enjoy being kicked in the ribs more than strangers
Most of the time.
Well you can't please everyone so mostly I focus on making me happy.
That's kind of a dick move
EVERYTHING is a dick move!
So... essentially, life is one entire dick move.
You should write a book about that
Oh yes
You could make some sweet cash
you'd probably make a lot of money
Yes
Its genius!
Brilliant!
A dick move, but brilliant!
WOO!!!
Its all so clear now!
Like I said, publish that book.
Vicious circle right there.
And I will be rich!
mwahahaha
And a dick
yay!
Everyone is a dick so it's okay.
Yes
Society is a dick
Your mom is a dick
And all of your grandparents too
which is a lie, I wouldn't know.
your aunts dog is a dick
I imagine some of them had dicks though.
They probably are...
Or at least I would hope or else you wouldn't exist right now.
I would hope.. or else I wouldn't exist!
haha
wow
That was kind of odd..
DICK!
Stop reading my mind you .... mind reading dick.
NEVER!
Feeble minded dick!
unconscious dick.
I'm not sure how that works but you figure it out.
haha
Well you're a..... dick!
..dick
poop
pooping dick.
Dick pooper!
Gros
Gross*
Ah!
That would be painful!
completely obscene.
And.. a synonym for butt sex?
You are an unconscionable person and I cannot stand this conversation any longer you DICK.
:(:(
Mean dick
but yes. it means butt sex
and I am a liar
hahaha
a lying dick who lies about dicks.
Lying dick!
Oh my!
it's in the name.
It really is
Naming dick!
haha.
Laughing dick!
ewww
Smelly dick!
Your mom is.
I'm sorry. That was completely uncalled for. Your mother should never have been brought into such vulgar conversing.
:(:(
I'm going to take your mother out on a nice seafood dinner and never call her again!
Are you implying that you will sleep with my mother, possibly causing unwanted bastard children, only to never claim responsibility for said bastards?
Because that truly is a dick move.
And its name shall be.... dick!
And yes... it would literally be a movement of the dick
But we won't go into that
Good. I do not need that influence on my young and innocent mind.
MEH!!! CORRUPTION!!!
:P:P
corrupting dick!
AH!
at least I would hope not physically because that would imply child rape.
innocent dick!
...
yes
Which would not technically be childrape now :(:(
And no one wants that
I'm old.
:'(:'(
You're really racking up the years!
tsk tsk
I'm an old dick.
I'm sorry you cannot partake in child rape
A saggy dick
That, sir, is what your father has.
no no no
That is what YOU HAVE!!!!!
yucky
alas, you are mistaken, I have no dick at all. I have Quite the opposite.
Oh
Well you are still a wrinkly dick!
well you are a diseased dick@
there is no exclamation. It goes beyond that into the at sign feelings.
:O:O
You are a dick with herpes!!!
HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY SANCTITY AND SANITATION IN THE ACT OF HUMPING. I demand an apology for that one. That was over the line.
I.... I'm sorry.
I'm Sorry I questioned your humping
You should be. You prick.
:(:(
you have escalated to prick status. I have removed your d.
:((
and replaced it with a pr!!!
no!!!!!!!!!!!!
you have reached a new level on the dick scale. and you cannot take it back.
unless you did something so un-dick like that you would be revered as a saint in most modern (or otherwise) religions
like... paint mustaches on famous portraits.
DONE!
Mona Lisa here I come!
I expect to see that on the front page of at least four newspapers tomorrow.
As long as I have friends who can drive, things are okay.
Dan-
And if they don't, you can kick them in the ribs!
Yeah, friends usually enjoy being kicked in the ribs more than strangers
Most of the time.
Well you can't please everyone so mostly I focus on making me happy.
That's kind of a dick move
EVERYTHING is a dick move!
So... essentially, life is one entire dick move.
You should write a book about that
Oh yes
You could make some sweet cash
you'd probably make a lot of money
Yes
Its genius!
Brilliant!
A dick move, but brilliant!
WOO!!!
Its all so clear now!
Like I said, publish that book.
Vicious circle right there.
And I will be rich!
mwahahaha
And a dick
yay!
Everyone is a dick so it's okay.
Yes
Society is a dick
Your mom is a dick
And all of your grandparents too
which is a lie, I wouldn't know.
your aunts dog is a dick
I imagine some of them had dicks though.
They probably are...
Or at least I would hope or else you wouldn't exist right now.
I would hope.. or else I wouldn't exist!
haha
wow
That was kind of odd..
DICK!
Stop reading my mind you .... mind reading dick.
NEVER!
Feeble minded dick!
unconscious dick.
I'm not sure how that works but you figure it out.
haha
Well you're a..... dick!
..dick
poop
pooping dick.
Dick pooper!
Gros
Gross*
Ah!
That would be painful!
completely obscene.
And.. a synonym for butt sex?
You are an unconscionable person and I cannot stand this conversation any longer you DICK.
:(:(
Mean dick
but yes. it means butt sex
and I am a liar
hahaha
a lying dick who lies about dicks.
Lying dick!
Oh my!
it's in the name.
It really is
Naming dick!
haha.
Laughing dick!
ewww
Smelly dick!
Your mom is.
I'm sorry. That was completely uncalled for. Your mother should never have been brought into such vulgar conversing.
:(:(
I'm going to take your mother out on a nice seafood dinner and never call her again!
Are you implying that you will sleep with my mother, possibly causing unwanted bastard children, only to never claim responsibility for said bastards?
Because that truly is a dick move.
And its name shall be.... dick!
And yes... it would literally be a movement of the dick
But we won't go into that
Good. I do not need that influence on my young and innocent mind.
MEH!!! CORRUPTION!!!
:P:P
corrupting dick!
AH!
at least I would hope not physically because that would imply child rape.
innocent dick!
...
yes
Which would not technically be childrape now :(:(
And no one wants that
I'm old.
:'(:'(
You're really racking up the years!
tsk tsk
I'm an old dick.
I'm sorry you cannot partake in child rape
A saggy dick
That, sir, is what your father has.
no no no
That is what YOU HAVE!!!!!
yucky
alas, you are mistaken, I have no dick at all. I have Quite the opposite.
Oh
Well you are still a wrinkly dick!
well you are a diseased dick@
there is no exclamation. It goes beyond that into the at sign feelings.
:O:O
You are a dick with herpes!!!
HOW DARE YOU QUESTION MY SANCTITY AND SANITATION IN THE ACT OF HUMPING. I demand an apology for that one. That was over the line.
I.... I'm sorry.
I'm Sorry I questioned your humping
You should be. You prick.
:(:(
you have escalated to prick status. I have removed your d.
:((
and replaced it with a pr!!!
no!!!!!!!!!!!!
you have reached a new level on the dick scale. and you cannot take it back.
unless you did something so un-dick like that you would be revered as a saint in most modern (or otherwise) religions
like... paint mustaches on famous portraits.
DONE!
Mona Lisa here I come!
I expect to see that on the front page of at least four newspapers tomorrow.
Coordinate brain and mouth.
So... exciting. Sunday at Marvelous Marvin's was easily the best day I've had in a while. Then after winding down on Monday, we went out to breakfast at IHOP and ran into Sarah Goff, then spent most of the day at Chuck E. Cheese just winning a bunch of tickets and essentially being a ticket/ coin vulture. It wasn't for me, it was for Paige, so it's justified. Then we went out to a bunch of stores, mostly to check prices of iPods. I totally saved the day with the windshield wipers though!
Tuesday really wasn't that great though. I spent all day babysitting and my mom just pissed me off the whole time. It didn't help that when I called him to try and feel better, he was pretty drunk. We reconciled mostly. I'm still kind of disappointed.
But he will maybe probably come over tonight :)
If it's not too rainy or snowy.
Last night was the worst night I've had in months. Maybe ever. I can't express in words how terrified I was.
Tuesday really wasn't that great though. I spent all day babysitting and my mom just pissed me off the whole time. It didn't help that when I called him to try and feel better, he was pretty drunk. We reconciled mostly. I'm still kind of disappointed.
But he will maybe probably come over tonight :)
If it's not too rainy or snowy.
Last night was the worst night I've had in months. Maybe ever. I can't express in words how terrified I was.
Feb 13, 2009
Sheltered from cold. We are never alone.
I FINALLY finished Anna Karenina, after I promised I would do it by last Sunday. So I can get started reading Le Rouge et Le Noir now. By the way, these books are due back at the library on Wednesday...
The Red and The Black shouldn't be hard to finish, it's not nearly as big and I have LOTS of free time between now and Wednesday, and with that note, I'm also going to my mom's house until Monday. As a reminder of my party that is on Sunday, you have to find your own way there unless you talk to me about it before hand, because I'm not sure how much room we'll have in the car exactly.
I was slightly disappointed in Anna Karenina. It was very anti-climactic. She dies in the 7th part, of 8. And the last part was very dull. It just talked about her sister-in-law's brother-in-law finding faith in life. To be honest, I don't understand why he would title the book after such an unimportant character. In fact, they were all pretty unimportant. There really wasn't a plot line either. It was just about all of those people... living.
Don't get me wrong though, it was still a very good book. Well written and the translations were excellent, and the foreign languages (mostly french) were anything but awkward... if that makes sense, which it should to those who speak french, german, spanish, what have you.
By the way, I LOVE YOU A WHOLE LOTS OF LOTS AND YOUR KITCHEN TABLE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN! <3
Je t'embrasse ;)
Salut et je vous verra bientôt
The Red and The Black shouldn't be hard to finish, it's not nearly as big and I have LOTS of free time between now and Wednesday, and with that note, I'm also going to my mom's house until Monday. As a reminder of my party that is on Sunday, you have to find your own way there unless you talk to me about it before hand, because I'm not sure how much room we'll have in the car exactly.
I was slightly disappointed in Anna Karenina. It was very anti-climactic. She dies in the 7th part, of 8. And the last part was very dull. It just talked about her sister-in-law's brother-in-law finding faith in life. To be honest, I don't understand why he would title the book after such an unimportant character. In fact, they were all pretty unimportant. There really wasn't a plot line either. It was just about all of those people... living.
Don't get me wrong though, it was still a very good book. Well written and the translations were excellent, and the foreign languages (mostly french) were anything but awkward... if that makes sense, which it should to those who speak french, german, spanish, what have you.
By the way, I LOVE YOU A WHOLE LOTS OF LOTS AND YOUR KITCHEN TABLE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN! <3
Je t'embrasse ;)
Salut et je vous verra bientôt
Feb 12, 2009
I am the cause to all your problems.
My uncle is incapacitated.
I have realized that Mme Jenkins doesn't give me points for speaking french unless it's our Nouvel period. Regardless of that, I still had 15 points this week, and there were only 4 days. In all fairness, she usually gives me two because I'm amusing.
Speaking of french, our song has a line in it that is not in the lyrics and it bugs me because I can't figure out what he says and neither can Mme Jenkins, so I'm going to look it up right... now.
au moins sauver sa peau
And the week is over! 5 days of break.............
and now I'm fucking pissed. My mom just called to do the exact thing I hate today. And then she talked to herself for about an hour, and then she yelled at me because I told her that getting a job is not a priority for me until the summer because I'm not going to work weekends because I'm not going to compromise seeing Carl.
"UH. NO. YOU WILL START WORKING NOW IF THEY WANT TO HIRE YOU BECAUSE YOU NEED TO START PULLING YOUR WEIGHT AROUND HERE AND DON'T EVEN START WITH THAT FUCKING EXCUSE THAT YOU WANT TO SEE CARL BECAUSE YOU NEED TO WAKE UP. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO WORK SEEING HIM AROUND YOUR WORK SCHEDULE AND IT'S NOT YOUR CHOICE BECAUSE YOU NEED TO START PAYING FOR THINGS ESPECIALLY BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO FRANCE NEXT YEAR AND I'LL COME PICK YOU UP RIGHT NOW TO TAKE YOU OUT TO GET APPLICATIONS BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO GET A JOB. AND WHEN I'M OUT AT A STORE I'M GOING TO PICK UP APPLICATIONS FOR YOU TO FILL OUT. IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GROW UP."
You know what? Just leave me alone for the rest of my fucking life. I appreciate certain things you do for me, but you really just don't get it. It's my life, and regardless of whether or not you want me to get a job, I will do whatever the hell I want.
I have realized that Mme Jenkins doesn't give me points for speaking french unless it's our Nouvel period. Regardless of that, I still had 15 points this week, and there were only 4 days. In all fairness, she usually gives me two because I'm amusing.
Speaking of french, our song has a line in it that is not in the lyrics and it bugs me because I can't figure out what he says and neither can Mme Jenkins, so I'm going to look it up right... now.
au moins sauver sa peau
And the week is over! 5 days of break.............
and now I'm fucking pissed. My mom just called to do the exact thing I hate today. And then she talked to herself for about an hour, and then she yelled at me because I told her that getting a job is not a priority for me until the summer because I'm not going to work weekends because I'm not going to compromise seeing Carl.
"UH. NO. YOU WILL START WORKING NOW IF THEY WANT TO HIRE YOU BECAUSE YOU NEED TO START PULLING YOUR WEIGHT AROUND HERE AND DON'T EVEN START WITH THAT FUCKING EXCUSE THAT YOU WANT TO SEE CARL BECAUSE YOU NEED TO WAKE UP. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD. YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO WORK SEEING HIM AROUND YOUR WORK SCHEDULE AND IT'S NOT YOUR CHOICE BECAUSE YOU NEED TO START PAYING FOR THINGS ESPECIALLY BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO FRANCE NEXT YEAR AND I'LL COME PICK YOU UP RIGHT NOW TO TAKE YOU OUT TO GET APPLICATIONS BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO GET A JOB. AND WHEN I'M OUT AT A STORE I'M GOING TO PICK UP APPLICATIONS FOR YOU TO FILL OUT. IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO GROW UP."
You know what? Just leave me alone for the rest of my fucking life. I appreciate certain things you do for me, but you really just don't get it. It's my life, and regardless of whether or not you want me to get a job, I will do whatever the hell I want.
Feb 10, 2009
I just needed you to know, I think in decimals and dollars
In the bathroom, written on the wall, were the words: Once upon a time.
There was a girl.
I had made up at least 9 different endings to that story. They were all sad.
Why is it my life is reflected in the most simplest of phrases?
The songs don't sing to me anymore; aimed at everybody else. Have I been forgotten again?
These Technicolor fingerprints alter my reality, my window panes are purple and then green, but the sky is still gray. Always gray and always blue and always pink and always green and always black.
But I am not a failure for howling at the moon, and I am not a failure for wanting more out of nothing. AND I AM NOT A FAILURE FOR DOING WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY WHEN NO ONE ELSE WILL.
I am not, nor have ever been, a failure. I just need you to tell me sometimes, so that I know that you know that I know that you know that I am not.
L'hippopotame klaxonne consciencieusement. Je suis si fier.
"I already know all of this."
There was a girl.
I had made up at least 9 different endings to that story. They were all sad.
Why is it my life is reflected in the most simplest of phrases?
The songs don't sing to me anymore; aimed at everybody else. Have I been forgotten again?
These Technicolor fingerprints alter my reality, my window panes are purple and then green, but the sky is still gray. Always gray and always blue and always pink and always green and always black.
But I am not a failure for howling at the moon, and I am not a failure for wanting more out of nothing. AND I AM NOT A FAILURE FOR DOING WHAT MAKES ME HAPPY WHEN NO ONE ELSE WILL.
I am not, nor have ever been, a failure. I just need you to tell me sometimes, so that I know that you know that I know that you know that I am not.
L'hippopotame klaxonne consciencieusement. Je suis si fier.
"I already know all of this."
Feb 6, 2009
I am all you've ever wanted. What all the other boys all promised. Sorry I told.
Yesterday I had a big long talk about Julie. About everything. I have come to realise that I am my mother, except not so crazy. I have also realised where the root of the problem lies. But I have no patience for that. It's just so frustrating because there is nothing that I can do about any of it, but how can I just grin and bear this?
I can't.
Well, our bus driver was MIA this morning and essentially we hijacked another bus (out of the kindness of their hearts or the direction of their supervisors, who's to say), displacing everyone who would normally ride it into the nooks, crannies, and aisles. It's nice that we got preferential treatment and all, but I'm not sure it's very fair to them. Then, after school, our chauffeur was still AWOL and we were rerouted onto Y. No announcement. Obviously there were a few less people than usual, even with the regular Ys. Then the crazy chauffeuse missed the first stop by completely missing the turn into our neighborhood, then sped slightly past the second stop, and only stopped because some kid was trying to tell her that she missed it and she got pissed. Once she got over it, everyone else was telling her that it was a bus stop, but of course she just kept going. Luckily for me, she did get my stop right and many unnecessary people got off there out of worry that they would ride into oblivion with crazy-face.
Definitely an interesting day, but it sort of wore my patience thin this morning when the chauffeuse made us 20 minutes late. Carl can attest to that, if for some reason you truly don't believe me.
As it is, I came home to find my sister stayed home from school for no fucking reason- again. And also, that she had used up half of my roll of duct tape on who-knows-what. Not that I had much to begin with, but now half of it is gone. Best of all was the look on her face when I told her never to go in my room or touch my stuff again. I was about to strangle her. So, I'm feeling really chipper right now.
After 3rd hour, my day was going so great. What happened?
I can't.
Well, our bus driver was MIA this morning and essentially we hijacked another bus (out of the kindness of their hearts or the direction of their supervisors, who's to say), displacing everyone who would normally ride it into the nooks, crannies, and aisles. It's nice that we got preferential treatment and all, but I'm not sure it's very fair to them. Then, after school, our chauffeur was still AWOL and we were rerouted onto Y. No announcement. Obviously there were a few less people than usual, even with the regular Ys. Then the crazy chauffeuse missed the first stop by completely missing the turn into our neighborhood, then sped slightly past the second stop, and only stopped because some kid was trying to tell her that she missed it and she got pissed. Once she got over it, everyone else was telling her that it was a bus stop, but of course she just kept going. Luckily for me, she did get my stop right and many unnecessary people got off there out of worry that they would ride into oblivion with crazy-face.
Definitely an interesting day, but it sort of wore my patience thin this morning when the chauffeuse made us 20 minutes late. Carl can attest to that, if for some reason you truly don't believe me.
As it is, I came home to find my sister stayed home from school for no fucking reason- again. And also, that she had used up half of my roll of duct tape on who-knows-what. Not that I had much to begin with, but now half of it is gone. Best of all was the look on her face when I told her never to go in my room or touch my stuff again. I was about to strangle her. So, I'm feeling really chipper right now.
After 3rd hour, my day was going so great. What happened?
Feb 4, 2009
I am heaven sent. And don't you dare forget.
That song perfectly describes my mood for today.
You know, life's much more interesting when you look at what's being left behind, rather than looking to the future. Especially when it's the same future over and over again.
Our phone call ended at 21:21, which I'll think is good luck. Teri told me that it's easy to get disappointed when my expectations are through the roof, but you know, I love to disappoint. Is it really that terrible to expect a ¢75 bag of chips to be bottomless?
I'm still not done with Anna Karenina. I feel bad because I've been slacking, even though I have good reason. I was busy all weekend and currently haveabout 4 3 projects going in each class. I have guaranteed that I will finish it before this week ends (Sunday, as far as I'm concerned).
It also seems that I have become very accustomed to biphasic sleep. I cannot sleep more than two hours after school. I just physically cannot. Believe me, I want to. At least I'm getting more sleep though. The only problem is that it's not regular because of my homework. If I have to spend more than a few hours on it, then I can't sleep at all, but because I'm used to being fully awake at that time, I can't go to bed early to suffice.
My sister really pissed me off today. Her new favorite word is Nehgro. And of course, she thinks she's the shit so her conversation is just a bunch of imprecations and expletives, no real substance. Admittedly she reminds me a lot of myself when I'm with... Natalie mostly, but it never went to that extent. We could at least have a meaningful tête-á-tête. Plus, she doesn't listen to anything anyone tells her. My dad's actually trying to have her start doing chores and she keeps telling him that she'll do it later, which means, she's never going to. I really want to know what I can do to make her fucking understand... anything. There's so much shit to deal with right now, and she doesn't do anything to help, or even fucking care.
And I have realized today that I have hated her so long that there is no way that I can ever like her again. And for that, I hate her even more.
You know, life's much more interesting when you look at what's being left behind, rather than looking to the future. Especially when it's the same future over and over again.
Our phone call ended at 21:21, which I'll think is good luck. Teri told me that it's easy to get disappointed when my expectations are through the roof, but you know, I love to disappoint. Is it really that terrible to expect a ¢75 bag of chips to be bottomless?
I'm still not done with Anna Karenina. I feel bad because I've been slacking, even though I have good reason. I was busy all weekend and currently have
It also seems that I have become very accustomed to biphasic sleep. I cannot sleep more than two hours after school. I just physically cannot. Believe me, I want to. At least I'm getting more sleep though. The only problem is that it's not regular because of my homework. If I have to spend more than a few hours on it, then I can't sleep at all, but because I'm used to being fully awake at that time, I can't go to bed early to suffice.
My sister really pissed me off today. Her new favorite word is Nehgro. And of course, she thinks she's the shit so her conversation is just a bunch of imprecations and expletives, no real substance. Admittedly she reminds me a lot of myself when I'm with... Natalie mostly, but it never went to that extent. We could at least have a meaningful tête-á-tête. Plus, she doesn't listen to anything anyone tells her. My dad's actually trying to have her start doing chores and she keeps telling him that she'll do it later, which means, she's never going to. I really want to know what I can do to make her fucking understand... anything. There's so much shit to deal with right now, and she doesn't do anything to help, or even fucking care.
And I have realized today that I have hated her so long that there is no way that I can ever like her again. And for that, I hate her even more.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)