mylastmatch22: aloha david
mylastmatch22: would it be alright if i pronounced your name dah-veed?
StrngBad1993: Konbanwa
mylastmatch22: because i always wanted to do that
StrngBad1993: Np, plenty of people call me that anyways.
StrngBad1993: lol
mylastmatch22: okay
mylastmatch22: awesome
mylastmatch22: i know a few davids
mylastmatch22: but they dont let me call them that
mylastmatch22: so you switched it up with the japanese?
StrngBad1993: Yep
mylastmatch22: i like japanese
mylastmatch22: i was learning last summer
mylastmatch22: and then i sort of stoppped
mylastmatch22: i'll probably pick up where i left off this summer
StrngBad1993: I was halfway fluent
StrngBad1993: can't remember a damn thing now, though
mylastmatch22: halfway?
StrngBad1993: yeah
mylastmatch22: lol
mylastmatch22: i was working on the kanji and katakana mostly
mylastmatch22: plus standard hello goodbye how are you
StrngBad1993: yeah, basic stuff.
mylastmatch22: i always feel bad
mylastmatch22: because learning languages is so hard
mylastmatch22: and i complain a lot
mylastmatch22: and then i think about all the other people
mylastmatch22: who try to learn english
mylastmatch22: because that is DAYUM hard
mylastmatch22: all of our rules and exceptions and whatnot
StrngBad1993: yeah
mylastmatch22: but that's too bad because i'm american and i'm lazy and already speak english so i could care less about other people xD
StrngBad1993: lol
StrngBad1993: swish
mylastmatch22: haha
mylastmatch22: you know whatz?
mylastmatch22: 21 is a really good movie
mylastmatch22: you should go see it
StrngBad1993: Interesting
mylastmatch22: interesting?
StrngBad1993: 'Interesting
mylastmatch22: lol
mylastmatch22: how so?
StrngBad1993: I dunno
mylastmatch22: lol
mylastmatch22: that's sillly
mylastmatch22: but seriously
mylastmatch22: go see it
StrngBad1993: Maybe. I never see movies cuz nobody wants to go. Except losers like my friend Travis, but...
mylastmatch22: travis?
mylastmatch22: travis who?
StrngBad1993: Briggs
mylastmatch22: i dont know him
StrngBad1993: Hm
StrngBad1993: Well, he knows you
StrngBad1993: and he's standing behind me
mylastmatch22: he does?
StrngBad1993: He claims to
StrngBad1993: Doesn't, though
StrngBad1993: obviously
mylastmatch22: well maybe i do know him and just cant remember
mylastmatch22: i have a terrible memory
StrngBad1993: He doesn't
StrngBad1993: he's just beiung slow. He's the type who breaks walls for fun
mylastmatch22: xDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD
mylastmatch22: awesome
mylastmatch22: then i should meet him
StrngBad1993: He and I just broke a brick wall
StrngBad1993: in public
StrngBad1993: lol
StrngBad1993: It was all me breaking it, he just kinda hit it with me, lol
mylastmatch22: lol
mylastmatch22: i dont recall ever breaking a wall
StrngBad1993: Pretty fun
StrngBad1993: He saw your IMs and said "I love her"
StrngBad1993: uh...
StrngBad1993: lol
mylastmatch22: i can only imagine
mylastmatch22: i mean about the wall thing
mylastmatch22: but hahah
mylastmatch22: wouldnt be the first time that's been said to me by a person i dont know
StrngBad1993: Wow, sounds lucky for you, lol. Or not. Either way...
StrngBad1993: I LOVE YOU xD I'ma have 10000029 of your babies.
StrngBad1993: ...or not
StrngBad1993: lmao
mylastmatch22: xD
mylastmatch22: i hate small children
mylastmatch22: but that's okay
StrngBad1993: rofl
mylastmatch22: yeah but i with you then, the total comes to like 9,000,587, 3029 babies
mylastmatch22: damn
mylastmatch22: what's with people and spawning?
StrngBad1993: lol, wait, wha?
mylastmatch22: your all crazy
mylastmatch22: well there are other people who wish to have babies with me too
mylastmatch22: so i added your # of spawn
mylastmatch22: and that is the number that i got
mylastmatch22: (and yes i do keep a running count)
mylastmatch22: xD
StrngBad1993: Wow
mylastmatch22: yup
mylastmatch22: i knjwo
mylastmatch22: unless i'm having like octuplets all the time
StrngBad1993: You sounds popular
StrngBad1993: *sound
StrngBad1993: lol
mylastmatch22: i'm gonna be alive for a really long time
mylastmatch22: popping out children until i die
mylastmatch22: that'd be horrible :o
StrngBad1993: Yep
StrngBad1993: =================D~~
StrngBad1993: gah
StrngBad1993: not me
StrngBad1993: Travis
mylastmatch22: i could have guessed
StrngBad1993: HOwso?
StrngBad1993: okp[;
mylastmatch22: chelsea tells me that travis sends you porn
mylastmatch22: xD
StrngBad1993: sorry
StrngBad1993: him
StrngBad1993: xDD
StrngBad1993: Y5
StrngBad1993: Yep, all the time
mylastmatch22: "he sends david porn. like. all the time"
mylastmatch22: xD
StrngBad1993: care bear strap on barely legal anal video.
StrngBad1993: Weird shit
mylastmatch22: what the fuck?
mylastmatch22: like, that is so strange to me i am actually writing out what the fuck
mylastmatch22: so i am dating chelsea now?
StrngBad1993: ...
StrngBad1993: apparently
mylastmatch22: lol
mylastmatch22: she's my sexy girlfriend
mylastmatch22: you know what?
mylastmatch22: your icon makes me smile.
StrngBad1993: hm?
StrngBad1993: Oh, thanks, lol
mylastmatch22: i need to get a new one
mylastmatch22: and chelsea says to use her face
StrngBad1993: I find that a bit odd
StrngBad1993: lol
mylastmatch22: i dont
mylastmatch22: i've known chelsea a long time
StrngBad1993: hm
mylastmatch22: she's a cool cat
mylastmatch22: and my secret lover xD
StrngBad1993: lol
mylastmatch22: except, not so secret now
StrngBad1993: I guess not, lol

================================================================

Chelsea:
David. I do not like your friend Travis.
David:
...He wants to know why. He IS sitting right here. I'm in his house...
Chelsea:
Babymaking with Andrea = not cool.
She's mine.
David:
Uh...
?
Chelsea:
Seriously.
Travis, fuck off.
David:
ok
Chelsea:
Stop messing around with my girlfriend.
David:
that was him, by the way
Chelsea:
Now go away.
I want to talk to David.
David:
He's trying to say things, sorry.
Okay. He's away,.
He went upstairs

pretty. odd. quote time! (these are my favorites so far and i'm sure they will be used in future post titles)

It's the greatest thing that's yet to have happened
Imagine knowing me
It's the greatest thing you'd ever imagine
But you'll never know until your there

In the middle of summer
Always golden in the sky
Always golden when the day met the night

Well he was just hanging around
then he fell in love
and he didn't know how
but he couldn't get up

Grab your hat and fetch your camera
Film the world before it happens

She held the world upon a string
But she didn't ever hold me
Spun the stars on her fingernails
But it never made her happy
Cause she couldn't ever have me
She said she won the world at a carnival
But she couldn't ever win me
Because she couldn't ever catch me
I, i know why because when i look in her eyes, i just see the sky

I don't love you i'm just passing the time
You could love me, if i knew how to lie
But who could love me, i am out of my mind
Throwing a line out to sea
To see if i can catch a dream

Accidents let the evening in the back door
Fill the room, ceiling to the floor
Beat back bones, grazed the poem and made it strange
I wasn't born to be a skeleton

I know it's sad that i never gave a damn about the weather
But it never gave a damn about me

I know it's mad but if i go to hell
Will you come with me or just leave
I know it's mad but if the world were ending
Would you kiss me or just leave me

Things have changed for me
And that's okay
I feel the same
I'm on my way and i say
Things have changed for me
And that's okay

I want to go where everyone goes
I want to know what everyone knows
Iwant to go where everyone feels the same

If all our life is but a dream
Fantastic posing greed
Then we should feed our jewelery to the sea
For diamonds do appear to be
Just like broken glass to me

And then she said she can't believe
Genius only comes along
In storms of fabled foreign tongues
Tripping eyes, and flooded lungs
Northern downpour sends its love

Sugarcane in the easy mornin'
Weather vanes my one and lonely

The ink is running toward the page
It's chasin' off the days
Look back at boat feet
And that winding knee
I missed your skin when you were east
You clicked your heels and wished for me
Through playful lips made of yarn
That fragile Capricorn
Unraveled words like moths upon old scarves
I know the world's a broken bone
But melt your headaches, call it home

Hey moon, please forget to fall down
Hey moon, don't you go down
You are at the top of my lungs
Drawn to the ones who never yawn

and we're all too small to talk to god
yes we're all too smart to talk to god

Allow me to exaggerate a memory or two
Where summer’s lasted longer than
Well longer than we do
When nothing really mattered
Except for me to be with you
But in time we all forgot and
We all grew

Your melody sounds as sweet
As the first time it was sung
With a little bit more character for show
And by the time your father’s heard
Of all the wrong you’ve done
And I’m putting out the lantern
Find your own way back home

I’ve forgotten how to sing
Before I sung this song
I’ll write it all across this wall
Before my job is done
And I’ll even have the courtesy
Of admitting I was wrong
As the final words before I’m dead and gone

You’ve never been so divine
In accepting your defeat
And I’ve never been more scared to be alone
If love is not enough to put my enemies to sleep
Then I’m putting out the lantern
Find your own way back home

Lying there
With a halo in her hair she cried
There are feathers everywhere
But it's fine
You do this all the time

Crying now
Through a rusted smile she knows
This isn't how he paid the bills before
Drug farm entrepreneur

Go spin circles for me
Wound relentlessly
Around the words we used to sling
Oh, such torturous things
Always chewing up the only ones
I ever mean

If you're goin', then go

Watch love
Get strangled by a kite's cold strings
Fall comes early and summer leaves
As a storm with the car keys

Spark your heels
Up against the picket fence I built
All your wishes they will sink like stones
Slowly down a lonely well

Oh how it's been so long
We're so sorry we've been gone
We were busy writing songs for
You don't have to worry 'cause we're still the same band

He took the days for pageant
Became as mad as rabbits
With bushels of bad habits
Who could ask for anymore?
Yea who could have more

(the song Mad As Rabbits makes me smile because i can only assume what drugs they were on when they wrote that song)

one last thing before i shuffle off the planet,

i will be the one to make you crawl.
so i came down to wish you an unhappy birthday.
someone call the ambulance, there's gonna be an accident.

i'm coming up on infra-red, there is no running that can hide you,
cause i can see in the dark.
i'm coming up on infra-red, forget your running i will find you,
cause i can see in the dark.

so it happened.
i'm sure you could assume by reading this what it was if you hadn't already heard.
people keep asking if it was fun.
this is the best answer i could really give:

hmm. it was. although, it could have been better, but it was our first time so... idk. i think i just had this thought in my head of how it would have been, and then when it wasn't like that... i wasn't in the slightest disappointed, it just, wasn't what i had expected

but we have plenty of other times to practice xD
like saturday...

BRING A CONDOM!

and it's been a while since i've gone and fucked things up just like i always do

and it's been a while, but all that shit seems to disappear when i'm with you.


losing the passion for life as i'm losing the time from being with you.
i really missed you. spending time with you is my reason for living. if it were anyone else and no one knew we had been going out for 7 months and 5 days, that would sound really over dramatic and obsessive. good thing they know huh?
lol

anyways. god it's been... a little over a week. close to two. seems like forever. i've been social ghosting, if you can call it that. hung out with ryan and jp and like... 8 other people that i've never met before until that night, on friday night. it was pretty crazy.

god. having guy friends is becoming increasingly difficult i hope you know. not to sound really obnoxious to you all, but is it so much to ask to not be so attractive to other people? hung out with him, all of two times so far, and there's plenty more to come. first time, he had a girlfriend. second time he was all over me. which actually isn't really true. he was definitely making a move though. but he knows his limits, and he knows mine. he won't do anything. actually, he even asked me to stop him before he even starts. which i can't object to. he's fun to hang out with and all, but he's better as a friend and i don't think i'd go out with him even if i was single. i was supposed to maybe hang out with him today too, but that didn't work out and probably still won't. carl's coming over :D

lizzi. i think i love you. that band Kyo, is pretty fucking amazing. i think, one of the best french bands i've ever heard. ever.

anyways, carl will be here in like... an hour and a half. i'm looking forward to it.
and i think, wednesday i will hang out with andrew in the morning-ish and then ryan in the afternoon/night/morning (basically, when it is dark). so, i'm just barely social enough to survive. the only problem is, i'm not being social enough with the people who i hang out with at school all the time.

but ryan is apparently going to transfer to churchill. and chelsea too. next year is going to be so much better. i can guarantee that.

i wrote this novel just for you. it sounds pretentious, but it's true. i wrote this novel just for you. that's why it's vulgar. that's why it's blue

chelsea, i love you. and i honestly mean that. don't ever think twice about it, i'm here for you if you need me, when you need me. remember, i love you. WE love you, your friends, or what remain of them, and some do remain. the ones who've known you all these years and still know you and want to know you for the next god-knows-how-many years are left to come. i can't possibly make you believe the words that i'm saying to you, but if you can, just try. it will be all right soon, it will get better, things pass, make it water under the bridge. please. or else we'll all just die here, in the place we hate most, and aren't we trying to escape? what's the point of dying somewhere where we've never had any good memories, experiences?

please just try, or else you'll end up like me, overstressed, overwhelmed, tired of being the one who always is telling others it will be okay, having a mental breakdown in the bathroom of her sister's house while she's supposed to be babysitting, on the phone with her boyfriend trying to find a reason to keep living. Making excuses for why she don't try hard enough, when she knows that there's nothing left to try for. Disappointing her teachers, friends, self, because she's seen enough of the world to know that it's not worth seeing anymore. Abusing substances against everyone (including herself)'s better judgment just because she wants pity and an excuse to feel so broken and empty and dead.

I hate myself, i hate my life, i hate everything so much. and i've tried so hard not to complain or burden. tried so hard just to hold my head up and keep on walking, but you know what? it got to me last night in the bathroom. it gets to me every night. every single night i hold all of my childhood toys and hide under my blanket and cry like the small, scared child i am. hoping, wishing that tomorrow might be better, even though i know it wont. turning the music up louder so that they won't hear me sobbing upstairs because they think that crying is weakness and they already think i'm not strong enough to carry my load, just because i stumble.

but i still try and make it through the day because i know there's something to look forward to. something out there that must make it all worth it. so please try, and keep trying because i don't want to lose you, and i don't want to lose myself, and we don't want to die here do we?

(manderz is gonna love me for this one) I just keep tryin' ta get a little better, said a little better than before

good values.
don't worry. i'm not a heroin addict. or an addict to anything. period.
xD
and i don't plan on it, in case your wondering.

lol anyways. it's been two days. time for a new post don't you think? god, i can't believe i've gotten to the point where i feel like it's been forever when i do one post every other day. how can you guys stand to update only like once a month? that's fucking insane. we like to know what's going on in your lives. even if it's insignificant and your just saying that you really enjoyed dinner that day or something, it's better than seeing the same old post up there day after day after week after week.

but whatever floats your boat i guess.
so, we actually were going to do kick boxing in gym today. which i have been "enthusiastically" supporting pretty much everyday. I will run into the locker room and kick high into the air and scream out "Y'all psyched for BOX KICKING?" or something along those lines. and today, we were actually going to do it. so the second Barnes said, "Follow me and we'll go kick boxing," i ran up the stairs to the gym with the other class and had an intense workout there. i swear i sweat a lake. probably because i rode 2 miles on a bike in 3 minutes? either way, it was pretty gross feeling. especially because i had to deal with sweating and cooling down in math class. BUT, since i wasn't there on wednesday, i didn't have to take the gay quiz that we were having. :D
i'm horrible at math, and it doesn't help when i'm not there to learn what i am being tested on. and carl was a meanie face and wouldn't tell me what was on the quiz before class when i thought that i might have to take it >:P
Über lame. fer cereal.

it's late, i'm tired, and musically deprived :'(
so i'm probably gonna go to bed now. i hope you miss me.
(YOU BETTER MISS ME)
je t'embrasse
ttfn ;D

it doesn't hurt me
you want to feel how it feels
you want to know, know that it doesn't hurt me
you want to hear about the deal i'm making

i feel like doing something different today.
so i decided i was going to type this on the left side of the screen
which is actually hard to do if you actually type it on the left instead of doing it on the right and switching it over. like visually i can't follow my words.
GAH! i've made about a billion typos so far. you don't even know.

yesterday was pretty fucking amazing. waiting at the rec for who-knows-how-long, only to find out that we can't do exactly what we had planned, due to some, unforeseen events. although i got some pretty good stuff anyways. i just need to find a pair of panties i can give away now...
obviously we couldn't do the stuff at the rec, so we were just gonna walk to my house. even though Andrew had a car and it would've been so much faster, even if a little cramped. we had about an hour to actually do anything, but it worked out pretty well. i mean, the whole time in my room... pretty rad. ryan is a pretty fun dude. i can just imagine all the fun shit i'm gonna be doing this summer with him and jp and everybody. especially considering they live in my neighborhood (which is pretty hilarious in itself). it took me only about 10 minutes to clean up and air everything out, which is good. of course i sprayed that Oust shit in there and then sprayed myself with some perfume-y shit.
WONDERFUL :)

did i mention that ryan randomly called me at like, 8:30, probably high as hell? yeah, well he did. that was pretty funny. i don't remember what we talked about, but i can assure you that it probably made no sense at all.
and then i just talked to Andrew all night before i went to Carl's.

anyways, last night before i went to bed, i told my dad not to bother waking me up because i didn't have school till the afternoon. and then i set my alarm clock to wake me up at about 9 and then again at 9:30. yeah, well then i went over to Carl's house and when i got home, i passed out after another hour. next thing i know, i'm waking up and it's noon. and of course i'm just like "OH SHIT. FUCKINGSODDINGBOLLOCKYSHITWANK!" (by the way, Natalie, i just added that into my computer's dictionary so that when i type it out, it won't say it's incorrect xD). i don't know how many of you know this, but my dad works during the day, all day, from 7 am to 7 pm, out in BELLEVILLE. and Ronda works from 9 am to 5 pm usually somewhere i don't know where. so i am home alone, with no ride to school. not that i particularly want to go to school, no one does, and this is a perfect excuse not to. i mean i sort of wanted to go, and see Andrew and John and hear about his night in jail or whatever, and also to get my money back or preferably, drugs, (yeah i know, i know, i shouldn't do them) but i'm not gonna pass up an opportunity to not go to school.

and so here i am. now i will just have to pretend to my mom that i was in school all day. or maybe i should just tell her when she gets here that i missed the bus and didn't have a ride, so that if she happens to find out later, i wont get in trouble!
(yeah, i'll probably do that first one xD)
((in case you didn't get it, that was a joke. i'd like to stay ungrounded, and get my ipod back))

je t'embrasse
ttfn

Come on, baby, come on, come on, darling, let me steal this moment from you now

psyching myself up for today. 11 o'clock right? yeah.
what about jon's dad? i mean there's not much he can do to us, but then again...
the thought looms.

anyway. i love how at 7:30, my dad asks me if i'm going to be late for the bus.
and then i had to explain to him that i didn't even have school today, although at 7:30, if i had, it would've been just a little too late.

so he leaves for work and to drop my sister off at school.
5 minutes later, he pulls back up and runs in the house.
"what's wrong?"
"i can't find my satellite radio." *frantic searching*
"you know, this is going to turn out exactly like the last time you did this and it will be in your pocket."
*silence*
*front door shuts*
xD
my dad completely made this day officially amazing.

the sun is coming up. i don't think any of you know how much i value the sunrise. i was making tea right in front of Ronda. after like 10 minutes, i'm thinking, "why isn't my water boiling?" so i go back in there, and she had turned the boiler off and moved the tea kettle off of it. Thanks a bunch. i'm gonna miss the sunrise now. asshole.

whatever. the rest of the day is bound to be amazing. that is if one of 3 people actually show up with what i want most.

the song "Running Up That Hill" has been stuck in my mind.
the lyrics just seem to echo in my mind
i've had it on repeat for like half an hour
it makes me feel... indescribable. but it's not a good indescribable. it just... makes me think about my life.

Remember me...

... when your the one who's silver screened
... when your the one you always dreamed
... whenever noses start to bleed
... special needs

just 19 and sucker's dream, i guess i thought you had the flavour
just 19 and dream obscene, six months off for bad behaviour

i'm coming down, bring me up, take it off, let's just touch

woah, i feel just like i'm taking control of the night, of the night, yeah
woah, i feel just like i'm losing control, but if you let go, i'll let go tonight

i'm not too dependent on them. i really enjoy them, but i'm not dependent. i guess if you think about it like: if i lost access (which i don't know if you noticed but i did, which is how this all got started) i would obviously find another source. and if that is your definition of dependent, that's a little fucked up. i mean it's only natural that you search around and try to find more. whatever. it doesn't even matter. you can think what you like, but i know.

it is 6 in the morning. i have been here all night since we dropped you off. my tongue is still burned from tea yesterday so i don't know if i want to have another cup. my plan was to wait until the sun rose and sit outside and watch it and drink my tea. it's about the only moment of peace i will have... probably for a long time. that reminds me, (although unless you are reading my thoughts this really doesn't seem connected) daylight savings time is tonight. so remember to set your clocks ahead an hour.

*sigh* i'm feeling sort of down right now. maybe i'm tired? i've been up for about 30 hours now. plus i had that energy drink with you. granted, the crash from it would have been all of 6 hours ago. and i haven't drank the freek. it would fit so nicely among all of my empty cans. it's just begging me to drink it, but being the tease that i am i said,"FUCK YOU" and left it sitting precariously within reach. (haha. sure sign of insanity, i am talking to cans of freek and torturing myself xD) someone take me to a hospital i swear i'm just going to seriously lose it one of these days.

it seems like it got darker outside. probably because my dad woke up and turned the lights on in the kitchen. when he first got here he left the lights off and just said, "good morning" and my eyes were so used to staring at the computer screen i was blind when i tried to turn to look at him.

i'm thirsty. but i'm not gonna open it. i'm better than that can. that little skull guy is just staring at me. mocking me. i want to punch it in the face and rip out that one dangling earring it has because having only one earring is gay. especially if it dangles.

so i've noticed that they like to show as close to porn as possible on television early in the morning. i mean like early so that most people wont be awake, but not so early that small children wouldn't wake up to watch cartoons. yeah it was pretty much infomercials for girls gone wild, showing as much skin as possible, and then infomercials for various "male enhancement" products. WITH illustrations. so technically, it's not porn. it's an anatomically correct "before" and "after" picture. *cough cough* porn *cough cough*

my dad keeps insisting that he needs to give me some form of monetary gift for my birthday, even though he's done enough for me and i kind of have been using his credit card without his knowledge. *sheepish look* i swear i've spent less than $40 though. plus yesterday i got a card in the mail from my grandma who apparently DID NOT forget my birthday. it's like $25 and plus whatever my dad decided he was going to give me, which will probably be another $20-25. @_@ who'd a thunk that if i had waited only a few more hours, i would have been able to get at least triple what i wanted originally. oh well. i can spend it later. (for those who are concerned, probably NOT on drugs)

i'm really restless right now, but i know that if i shut my eyes, i will be out like a light. i should probably sleep soon, considering my mom will be here to pick me back up at noon. LAME. it wouldn't be so bad if you were here to sleep with me. because any time spent with you is enough to keep me going all day.

je t'aime vraiment

yeah he's a looker, but i reallly think it's guts that matter most, i displayed them for you, strewn out about from coast to coast

i am easily make believe

just dress me up in what you want me to be
i'll take back what i've been saying
for quite some time now
...
in my daydreams, in my sleep
infatuation turning into disease
you could cure me, see all you have to do now is please try
give it your best shot and try
all i'm asking for is love
but you never seem to have enough
...
this life is way too short to get caught up in all this stuff when i just want you to love me back
why can't you just love me back?

Do you really want to read my notebook?
I'll bring it to school tomorrow for you. It's not the same notebook, but it has the same stuff in it.

cellular device:
734-383-9010
give me a ring sometime. or not. whatever.

Gah! So that andrew kid from lunch... is my hero forever. I will not tell you why. It's none of your business, but he is the most amazing person ever. Out of 5, he was the only one. I'm just glad one of them came through for me period.

so over the weekend, i found this amazing website that has like every opening/closing/any song related to an anime available for FREE download. There's about 4,500 songs. And there's like every version ever made of the songs too. Even the television versions that are only like 1 minute long.
(because i know you are all interested now... the website is: http://gendou.com/amusic)
:D
in fact i am listening to some of the songs right now