she's good for one day of comfort, only because she has suffered

woot

new year's eve.
an hour to midnight. the new year. the future, in essence.
should i be more excited? i never really got holidays. they are just ordinary days that people blow out of proportion and use as excuses to do less work and more money spending. just what everyone needs. an excuse for laziness and indulgence, so we can justify not finishing work and maybe overeating or overspending a little, so we dont feel so bad a few days later when we dont fit quite as comfortably into our old clothes, and we fail some schoolwork, and we are behind on some bills. it just never made sense to me. a holiday is the same as any of the other 364 out there. why treat it any differently?

if you wouldnt normally eat a little extra at dinner or desert, what makes it okay on a holiday? if you normally did your work and saved your money, what makes it okay to not do it? there is no difference. own up to your own actions, your guilty pleasures, or indulge in them more often. dont look for ways to justify the things that you do. that's what sickens me the most. the fact that people try to scapegoat their mistakes on, for lack of a better metaphor, gold plated shit.

and really thats all holidays are: gold plated shit. people put them up on pedestals like its some kind of wonderful. granted, it can bring people together, but anyday could be like that, people just arent kind enough, nor decent enough to think of togetherness and thoughtfulness until they are told to. its really kind of pathetic that we, as mankind, have lost all ability to treat each other, and ourselves for that matter, with decency and kindness except for a single month at the end of the year. and then people have the nerve to say that maybe they werent so perfect this year, but "in the spirit of the holidays" i can resolve to be a better person next year, and maybe this time it will happen.

no. it wont.

holidays are dumb. and not just the ones in december. every single one.

as long as your alive, here i am. i promise i will take you there

i am such a sap.
yes, sad songs make me cry

but why do you have to hear them at the worst times?

don henley was right with his dirty laundry:
kick em when they're up
kick em when they're down
kick em when they're up
kick em all around

but that's beside the point
boy have i had an interesting night! i stayed up all night. which is partially because i fell asleep at 6 and didnt wake up until midnight. i spent all night, er, a good portion of it talking to jade. everytime i talk to him, we just find more and more that we have in common. i know i haven't known him very long, but it feels like ive known him forever. we just kind of had this instant connection and i feel like i can tell him anything, and he's there for me when i really need him. he's like the friend i've always needed, but never had. i think that my life is slowly becoming more complete. it certainly feels that way. and it feels really good to have someone to talk to, someone who knows how i feel and is going through pretty much the same things as me.
someone to talk to.
thats someone i haven't had in so long. it's like rediscovering something you had lost and long forgotten.
it's like nostalgia.
yeah that's it exactly. nostalgia.

and along with confiding in a good friend, i had a chance to put some of my pictures and not-poetry up on myspace. i've noticed that lately people have been losing thier words, and for a while, i must admit, i thought i had too, but going through that old notebook of mine and looking back at all of the things i had drawn and written, i realized that i had simply forgotten how to use my words and my pictures. and now i have this sudden spark of creativity and inspiration that i thought had burned out long ago. it feels so good to have all of these things back in my life! my inspiration, my love, my friends, my will to live! oh the sudden turn of events! i had so recently as last week given into despair, and now look at me! hear me speak! feel my joy, my excitement! it's absolutely...

strange dont you think?

maybe last night i had vomited out all of my negativity? i have no idea, but whatever happened, i kind of like it

everyones a let down it just depends on how far down they will go. in every circle of friends theres a whore the one who flirts and does a little more

this picture goes with the one from the other day apparantly

katie, why are they all pretty much about rape?
were you perchance listening to a certain sublime song? or maybe you this is a window into your soul, showing us that you would really like to be dateraped?

lqtm*
jk


laugh quietly to myself. its from a joke from demetri martin
for those of you who dont know who demetri martin is, or dont remember this particular joke, its okay, but i thought it was ingenious, and now i shall try and use it as often as i can


those pictures are good at getting me in a better mood. and liz keeps giving me hilarious-yet-at-the-same-time-not-so-funny steven wright quotes

christmas sucked
as always
i hate holidays
bah humbug
actually, im not that bad. i dont sit in the corner and reject anyone that comes my way. no, im not like that. i sit in the corner and mope and walk around like a zombie. i would ignore the people who talk to me, but im the kind of person who will always listen, regardless of whether i care, or want to. so most of the night, as before, i just got bitched at for my grades.

why is it the question they always ask is, "so how you doing in school?"
if it wasnt for my parents being right there, you know i would have lied. but of course, its the holidays, so we are all gathered in the living room of a distant relatives house.

god
im so sick of talking about the holidays
lets talk about something else okay?

wait, there is nothing else to talk about unless you want me to repeat myself, which im sure you probably dont

carl!
i need to talk to you really really badly
i need to see you even worse
please be online tomorrow around noon or so. or friday at 7ish
please please please please

hum hallelujah, just off the key of reason, i thought i loved you, it was just how you looked in the light

i forgot about these pictures that katie sent me one time
i cant remember if it was her and gabby who made them or what, but they make me laugh

i was thinking that i wanted to put up a picture everyday, and like a little story to go with it.
that is if i can take a picture everyday (which i probably wont be able to because im never here)
if i have the digital camera (which i never do)
and if i have the chord to connect it to the computer (which we have yet to find)
and i dont have a surplus of pictures to use before i need to take new ones
and i dont post everyday
so i will probably just put up a new picture every post.
is that fair?

anyways,

christmas hasnt turned out as bad as i thought it would be
i still hate the holidays
and its even worse because i wont be able to see carl at all
and i cant talk to him because he wasnt online at all today, and i know that he wont be online tomorrow because he's going to be at christmas mass and doing dumb other things tomorrow. And if he was perhaps online, i wouldnt be because im going to be at my uncle's house, celebrating christmas and trying not to kill myself.

yesterday i had a big fight with my mom and her boyfriend and my older sister. they kept bitching at me about my grades and whatever and i finally had enough of it. As you should know, i'm not the kind of person who gets mad at these kinds of things, i just keep it in the back of my mind and dont let it get to me, but my older sister decided that it would be funny to go around and tell all of my aunts and uncles about my failing grades. So of course they all thought it was their god given duty to talk to me about it. So on the way home i blew up. I just couldnt take it anymore. we fought for about an hour, and when it was done i was sitting there crying, and then they felt bad so they kept trying to make me feel better, which they suck at.
"stop crying. you did this to yourself"
"oh we are sorry, but its kind of your fault"
"dont be mad at me, be mad at yourself"
"your a good kid, you just waste all of your talent doing stupid shit"

thanks mom and dad. i love you too. and they wonder why i refuse to tell them i love them, and hug them, and even acknowledge their existence.

i wasnt even crying because they were yelling at me, or because i felt bad about what i had done, or anything. I was crying because we were starting to open some gifts and i thought of carl, and how i wont be able to see him, and i just missed him so much. and they didnt even get it. but i mean, how would they? its not like they ever really knew what was important to me. not like they ever cared. they only care when they want to take it away.

i really need to see carl again. hopefully sometime soon. ill probably sneak over there next chance i get, but when i get there, ill probably just start crying, and i really just want to talk with him, which we cant really do if we are trying to be quiet. so i dont know how exactly that will work out. but i really really need him. i dont know if you can comprehend how much i need him.

like the light was all i had, i struck the book with my last match

the candle burned so soft and slow, i felt the warmth and felt its glow
salt, tasting tears, they roll off of my lips
one for each day i'm inside this house, its a trap.
one i cant quite escape so ill pretend its the place that i love
i wont let it pass me by again

i really need someone to talk to
really bad
but i have nothing that i need to say
do you know what i mean?
i need someone to be here, to sit alone in silence with me
as i battle the demons in my head

but of course thanks to my asshole parents
they took away everything
no one can come over
i cant go anywhere
i cant listen to my ipod
im stuck inside my house
with my disappointed parents
my sisters who think they can pass judgement on me
my almost step dad who thinks he can do the same
im tired of hearing it
i know i messed up
let me pay for it
and leave me the fuck alone

i really need some drugs
and thanks to dillon
who always knows exactly what to do
im gonna get some
:D

at least i can partially have fun here

and none of you get all preachy on me
because i dont want to hear it
im gonna get some drugs
im gonna get shitfaced
and you cant say anything to change my mind
or make me feel any differently about what im going to do
i deserve to feel better everyonce in a while
and maybe you should try it sometime
and not be so uptight

she's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and the killer instinct tells her to be aware of evil men

there are some things i need to say to some people

CHELSEA:
über thanksnessness for all of the 651465541365456 bajillionty songs you gave me, and for the fun time at your house, and the movies, and your house again. I have this feeling that i left my makeup and stuffs at your house, in your basement or your room or something. either that or in your car. but i remember taking it from my dad's before the movie, and i remember leaving it in the car when we went to the mall and w/e. but i dont remember putting it back into my pocket and thus bringing it inside with me, and if i did, i emptied my pockets downstairs on that end table, and im not sure if i grabbed all of my stuff. Anyways, the point is, i left it there i think, and it would be super amazingly greatness if you could get that back to me soon, which will probably end up being thursday on our apparant Peanuts + Drop Dead Gorgeous extravaganza. Speak of the devil, Drop Dead Gorgeous was on a few hours after natalie had mentioned it. By the way, anyone who just so happens to be wasting their time reading this, can you in fact rent any of the Peanuts movies at Blockbuster or Family Video or wherever? because it's been a while since i was there, and its not like i seek them out because i always want to rent them, not that im implying that you do or something, i was purely wondering whether you happened to know or notice if you could in fact rent them. I was kind of thinking that i didnt ever remember seeing them there, and if they're not, it would kind of ruin our Peanuts extravaganza.

NATALIE:
i owe you how much? let's see, movie tickets were je ne sais pas combien and the candy stuffs of yours that i ate. you know what? i dont feel like figuring out how much it was, so how abouts i get you an amazing christmas present and we call it even? that is way simpler and easier for my brain to handle. I also thinks that you should give me some of the chocolate that hana gave you on thursday on our Peanuts extravaganza. because i like candy, especially chocolate, especially chocolate that is not mine ;D (you know you love me) ((hana dont get mad if i eats all of natalies candy, because if she doesnt get a good hold on it, its inevitably gone)) we need to do some more things over break, aside from our thursday, and friday/ maybe saturday plans. we should go to chelsea's house and do fun things, like get lost in the woods, or just play in the snow, or you guys can just watch me do those things because im retarded.

KATIE:
i bought you a christmas present, which you will undoubtedly recieve tomorrow, before you even read this, unless of course you read this in the morning before school, which i severely doubt you do because your always telling me how you rush to get things done even though your bus stop is right across the street. In any case, your gift is amazing as i'm sure you already know. I'm sure you'll know why i got it for you. Well there's kind of two reasons, which i may or may not remember to explain to you in school when i give it to you. I was going to buy you an ultra thong, but it would be wierd because what if i got the wrong size, and then it would be awkward to return it, and your not the kind of person who would throw it away, so you would probably end up just keeping a thong that doesnt fit right and that is wierd and awkward too. So in anycase, i left the thong buying to that day that we said we'd go out and buy them for each other. That sounds way better dont you think? i do. sometimes i think too much, like the fact that i thought of all of the outcomes of if i gave you a thong for christmas. Lolzapalooza. i thinks also that i am too silly for my own good.

CARL:
last but not least, my love. it seems so strange that all i am hearing lately are all these mushy love songs. not that i object to it, because i do like them, they always seem to perfectly describe how i feel about you and about everything, but its just not the same because the words dont mean as much when they dont come from my mouth. It diminishes the effect. But now that someone has already said what i feel, how else am i expected to say it? how could my humble, meager words even compare? i feel that the more and more words someone else has used, the less and less i can say. But i want to say so much more, yet everything i've ever felt or thought has already been summed up by someone more poetic than i, and the things that they have not said, are so indescribable that its the only reason they haven't been said. I want to tell you all the things ive ever heard that can express how i feel about you and about us without sounding it sounding cliche, which i know is impossible. I guess what i'm trying to get across is that there is nothing that has not already been said that i can say to tell you how i feel, so the only thing i can say is I LOVE YOU. and i do, so deeply that it hurts. the pain i feel when you leave, the little piece of my heart that breaks and rips and tears as i watch you walk away, as i watch my feet pull me away from you. i beg them to stop sometimes, i beg myself to turn around and see you one more time, for you to see me that one last time, but as much as my mind struggles against it, i know that if i did, you would see the tears fall from my face. which i honestly hope you never have to do. to see me crying, because of you, because of me, because of anything. i want to be strong enough to hold it in, to never shed tears in front of other people, to never lose my composure, my small amount of grace. i want to be able to hold myself up, to not count on everyone else to support my heavy heart and soul. I just love you so much, and i love the ecstasy of it, and the feeling of heartbreak when you leave me, or i leave you, because at least then that pain is proof that i truly do love, that i truly do feel. I get a high better than that of any drug i've ever done when i realize that i am alive and that i love you and that you love me, more but equally the same.



there is so much more that i have to say to so many more people, but i am so out of it and so dead right now that every part of my body is stiff and isnt responding like it should. everything is slowed down and i can barely type or move or function for that matter. and after spilling my guts like that just a minute ago, i am emotionally worn too.

i still have to take a shower, and in the morning i need to do a bunch of homework, which i wont have time to do in my other hours because of all the fucking tests that im taking.


it's our time to shine through the down
glorified by what is ours
we've fallen in love, we've fall in love,
it was the best idea I ever had

today I fell and felt better
just knowing this matters
I just feel stronger and sharper
found a box of sharp objects, what a beautiful thing

On a scale of 1 to awesome i'm the SHIT

lawlz

I found a proxy.
but it wouldnt let me log in to my account here
so I used it
to go to another proxy website

where I thusforth came here and successfully logged in. I'm like a super genious. And I bet the school loves it. I'm like twice as hard to trace now.

lolz

aside from my great feat today, I've been mostly depressed. we talked about and made our plans for high school. idk, it just depresses me to talk about my future. Especially my immediate future. I dont really care what classes im going to take, or for how long I have to take them. I want to get them over with. And I dont want to start thinking about college. They said it's never too early, but I beg to differ. I've got how many years left? 5, counting this year. I mean after high school, I'm not going to college right away. I'm doing it for my dad, so dont chew me out about it guys. If I wait a year to go to college, my dad wont have to pay child support, and maybe finally he can get out of his debt hole. so, I just really dont care about my future all that much. and I dont know why anyone else wants me to. when I need to worry about it, I will, but what's going to happen is what's going to happen.

idk, it just really depressed me to be making a plan for everything. I just feel restricted, like once I choose what I want to do I'm stuck with it. I dont want to be tied down to anything. I want to have the option to do something different when I want to. I want spontaneity sometimes, and I feel that falling into a plan limits that, and i dont like it. Maybe it will be different when I need to start thinking about college, or maybe not. But I just wish we didnt have to be placed into something and be stuck with it. What if I try out a certain career, like being a doctor or something, and I work through high school and through my first year of college, or maybe after college, and I realize, I dont want to be a doctor anymore? What would be my options then? I'd be how old, gone through all that work, and now just expected to go to school all over again and learn something else? It's just not reasonable to do. It's like you're playing a game that you almost finish, and then you have to go all the way back to start. It almost makes the game not seem worthwhile to even play.

I mean life is just a game really, and no one ever wins. No matter what you do, no matter how far you get, no one can win. I just feel like throwing my towel in now and stepping back from it all to watch for a while.

the only problem is, you cant just step out for a while. you either play or you dont, and I have a lot riding on this game. Its just too bad that I seem to keep drawing the wrong cards.


Go directly to jail
Do not pass go, Do not collect $200

I fought them all off just to hold you close and tight

Carl, I love you so much
I want to hold you
and be with you all the time
and it feels like my world is falling apart when you're not with me

i dont know, but im just feeling so depressed right now and i really want to see you and be with you right now. I feel like i cant stand it and like i'm going to collapse and start crying right here. i feel silly though because its right in the middle of third hour and im going to see you in 20 mins, but from here it seems like forever. Its not soon enough.

so when you finally read this afterschool today or tomorrow or whenever, it'll explain why i acted the way i did after third hour.
i just love you so much. Please dont ever leave me.


and i know this sounds silly compared to what i just wrote, but we are making christmas cookies this weekend and frosting them and its really fun and i want you to come over for it. and you should come over wednesday or thursday or something too, because you haven't been over in a long time. not that friday was forever ago, but i remember it used to be that you would be over at least twice or more a week, and i miss that. and i miss you. a lot.

ill see you in 20 mins. even though you wont read this for a while.

albeit obvious, we hardly seek, but hope to find you there, we'll never die, we merely disappear...

i have had the best weekend i think evurr.
its really wierd because mostly around this time i'm very irritable and very emotionally out of it
but this year
its like everything is alright for once.

i spent a great day with carl on saturday.
except i cant tell you what we did
xD
(lol no it wasnt sex you silly perverted people)
((dont give me that look. i know you were thinking it))

and then sunday
i went over to chelseas house
and brought like two ENORMOUS cans of monster and a bunch of sugary candy
and played guitar hero
and had amazing video chat with jon
until he fell asleep
but then we did other fancy things
and chelsea gave me a bunch of stuff
which apparantly she likes to do a lot. she gave me an old hoodie, a bunch of band posters (which were really just pages she ripped out of an old AP) a cd, and let me make a playlist of all the songs that i need to put on my ipod (which was a LOT)
now i have to go through the task of getting rid of some older, less liked songs that i already have :/
but i think it will be worth it to have all of the songs on there that i really want
maybe i should just get a new ipod with more GB? but that would be expensive...
:/
hmm

well i finally kind of met jp today
on myspace anyway
hes pretty cool
and chellie was right
he does look like wiL francis. which is pretty neat.
and i found out today that im going to about three concerts with him and chelsea and jon and elise and some other people that i really dont remember who, in the next 2 or 3 months. which is pretty cool
the only problem is how i will convince my mom to let me go to all of them, especially with some older guys that she has never met. and then if i can manage that, i will need some serious funds, unless of course everyone would be willing to pay for my ticket and then i would have like a very long lasting debt to them. :/ which isnt really so bad, because i imagine that i will hang out with them lots and have more than enough chances to make it up to them.

so im really really hoping that there will be a ss knoh dei tomorrow. (i know you love my spelling. yeah. its rad. ezaketally)
((why am i the only one who spells it like that? you all should start spelling it like that. and i will be a trendsetter :D))
(((like im not already. psshhhyah fer sher)))
im silly
@_@
well i hope that maybe my good fortune and spirits may somehow rub off on all of you.
im off to bed
dreaming of ss knoh deihez.
;] have a nice night everyone

Listen to this if you love me and you're bored, It's just me singing off the top of my head

I have cherry Bawls.

again.
i made my dad take me to the gas station at like 9:30 last night. and then when we got there he says "dont take too long" so i get out and turn around and i say "well i kind of need money" and i bet he was thinking 'we fucking drove all the way here just and you didnt bring any money' as he handed over $20.

so i bought some cherry Bawls which they just started selling there. And i bought some Reeses sticks. And lo and behold, the guy at the counter is Mike (who you guys dont know, but during my days in the summer where i went up to the gas station everyday, he was the guy who works there, and because of all those times i went up there, i know him. sometimes he gives me a discount).

So im like "hey whatsup mike? i havent seen you in a while!" and he's like "same here. why'd you stop coming in?" and im like "i ran out of money and people stopped giving me it" so he laughed and then he's like "hahah. that's when its time to steal their money. But seriously, you should stay out of trouble. Although its good to get in some trouble every once in a while right?" so i laughed, nodded, and then got my change and said goodbye and went on my merry way.

yeah and then when i got home, i ate all of the candy, but saved the bawls for today. and so because i didnt want to be so hyped up because of all the sugar, i went into the kitchen and got out the allergy medicine and poured about 1/8th of a cup into my water, which apparantly was too much because when i woke up this morning i felt horrible. I had a headache, stomachache, felt like i was going to vomit. But this has happened before so i knew that it would probably go away by the time i got to school. But because i didnt do that essay for filiatraut that i was supposed to, and because im such a little shit, i slept in until 6:30 and when my dad came in to tell me, i told him that i didnt feel good and that i wanted to stay home from school.

he's so gullible. so he called me in sick today, which is a good and bad thing. because i wont have to do that essay until monday, but i was supposed to have a party in 5th hour, and in 6th hour. So i have to miss out on that. But really is it so bad? There's going to be pizza and pop and some shitty snackfoods. But other than that, its pretty much a normal day in those classes, because basically its a party everyday except without the food.

yeah so i'm home alone right now. With endless resources for fun.

you guys can have fun at fucking school. I'm gonna go have some bawls, get high off all of the prescription pills and then watch some of those gay, excuse me, in respects to evan mercer, homophobic, kids shows that are only cool when your high, or 7 years old.

actually never mind the getting high part because we have nothing good here.
:/

which means i cant watch those homophobic kids shows
oh well
i have the internet
which is even more unlimited than my television selection.

Happiness is a warm gun

Any of you who have been in my room at my mom's
namely carl, and katie, and isaac (but that was way back when they were dating), and perhaps jessica if she remembers and i dont really remember if chelsea ever was but anyways...

just know that i have a Peanuts calander (with snoopy and the gang) and its all about happiness which i know is really ironic, but it was peanuts so i had to get it. anyway, at the top of every month it says "Happiness is..." and it goes on to say something sappy and commercialized. well every month i cross the rest of it out and right my own form of happiness. Last month it was "seeing everyone die." and then on the actual calander part, i do little doodles and color all over and decorate it and stuff.
Well, this month, it says "happiness is flying south for the winter" which i promptly crossed out and wrote (can you guess by the title of this post?). and then underneath it is a picture of snoopy on his doghouse saying goodbye to woodstock.
and then of course i doodled all over it with disturbing pictures. Like i drew an arrow through woodstock and snoopy holding a bow, and then there is another woodstock behind him stabbing him with a knife and there is a gun in the corner and snoopy's getting his little brains blown out and there's blood draining from all of their eyes and their mouths and from puncture wounds and such and it is quite amazing.

I know im quite disturbed. but you should really see it.

i must admit its not nearly as good as the one i did a few months ago. it was schroeder (the piano kid) and lucy at her doorstep and they were going to kiss, so i drew X's on their eyes and stitches on thier mouths and in the backround everything is on fire and a bomb is going off in the backround and the mushroom cloud is really cool and their are bomber planes dropping bombs and its really destructive

i dont really remember what the title of it was, but it was fantastic i can assure you. and im thinking that one was my best.

anyways the point of this post...


oh wait there was none ;D

never mind i figured it out

I am awesome at fixing (destroying) pictures

Even if I say, it'll be alright, still I hear you say you want to end your life

I want to try and do a new post everyday. I know ill probably procrastinate like no other and it wont happen, but i will try. I'll be faithful for at least a week or so anyway. I'll probably do it all during my third hour too.



scratch that
they blocked my proxy
and the new proxy i found doesnt let me do blogstuffs


so whatever
im bummed

And you kissed me like you meant it

I really love that song. Its really amazing and its really creepy how easy it is to relate to. Dashboard Confessional dont get nearly enough props for the great songs that they write.
So kudos to them
and kudos to anyone who likes them


I bet you would never guess but im writing this post in the middle of third hour today.
proxies are amazing
but in order to not leave any traces you have to go through like a bajillion different steps to delete everything. which kind of sux, but its well worth it i think to be able to do this.

yeah so my computer is broken in this class and im at a different computer today, which im finding runs way faster and is way better than my other one. i think maybe i will just keep this as my new permanent computer.

i could really use some monster right now. im in the mood for some energy which is something ive really been lackin lately. maybe its because of SAD? who knows? certainly not i. nor do i really want to. Amanda, its quite alright if you dont find that thing that you said might cure it, because really i dont care and im no worse for wear because of it. and it would probably creep all of you out if i was so happy all the time. it would definitely creep me out.

when i get home today im gonna jump in the shower and stay in there for like an hour.

except i cant really because ill have to do some things first like homework and whatnot, but so far today i dont have any. then again this is only third hour.

mr austin is gabbing away at us all the time and we never say anything back and he gets mad and its really funny. no one ever does anything productive in here. hah. he's talking about whirly ball or something. its kind of gay from what i hear. excuse me, in respect for evan mercer, its kind of homophobic from what i hear.

Carl, you really need to listen to some songs by Gavin Mikhail. he truly is amazing. actually not just carl, all of you need to. i think his best song is Catch Your Fall. so all of you go out right now and download that one, and Brave, and Not Enough. actually download all of them because hes so great. and then go add him to your friends list on myspace. and then i will love you all forever.


OMG SHUTUP MR. AUSTIN!
i dont give a fuck about detroiters that own sports teams.
or william davidson and his fucking pistons and the shocks. i dont care about what they're worth. it has no affect on me. just shut the fuck up and leave us alone.




oh by the way. i saw the greatest movie ever, THE MIST. that one by stephen king. swear to god for half an hour after i saw it all i said was OH MY GOD. and then sporadically throughout the day i said it somemore.
that movie has just the right touch of gore, humor, drama, and suspense, with the biggest twist of an ending. i wasnt expecting it at all, and oh my god was it cruel. just horrible what happened. but truly the greatest movie ever.